Chapter 32
I thought I would go down a floor to my office, but instead I find myself heading to the basement. The thought of Ayla’s soft lips on mine has me worked up and if I can’t have her the way I want to, then I’m going to beat on the piece of shit that had her when he
shouldn’t have.
Walking into the dungeon my senses are overwhelmed with the smell of piss, feces, blood and vomit. About time to hose this place down again. Last time Cyrus lost a bet, he had to spray this whole place down. I chuckle to myself until I enter the cell with the so called “warden” and 1 see red. Rage boils inside and it takes everything I have not to shift and rip his damn throat out. He’s sitting, chained to a chair. His wrists are bleeding from attempting to free himself. He’s been injected with wolfsbane, just enough to slow his healing today. I look down and notice Cyrus has left one toe on each foot, the rest are missing. I just shake my head. I’m not even going to try and understand his potential one
toe motives.
“Hey, wake your ass up.” I growl while jerking his head up by his hair. “I have a few
questions that you’re going to answer for me and if you don’t start talking, I’m going to
cut your damn tongue out and let you choke on your blood.” “I’m not telling you shit, just
end me and be done with it.” He pants out. Clearly in pain and exhausted. “No, you won’t
go that easy if you won’t talk. I will drag this out for months. Years if I want and it still wont be long enough compare to what you did to Ayla. To the others. To my family. He starts laughing like this shit isn’t real. Like he doesn’t have a care in the world. I immediately clock him with a right hook and he spits a tooth down on the floor. He lifts his head up, blood dripping down to the floor and laughs again. “Ayla huh? So you dipped your dick into that tight omega pussy did you? Tell me, how’s my sloppy seconds?” I instantly rage, Ronan growling through me and I release my alpha aura. He immediately starts whinning like the bitch he is and shows his neck to me in submission. He didn’t. realize I am an alpha of alphas. More powerful, larger and stronger. Chosen by the moon, our bloodline created to rule over all shifters. I heal quicker, I’m faster and no shifter is able to withstand my aura. They all submit, regardless of status. I don’t rule over all however. A decision I stand firmly behind. Ending this son of a bitch and every shifter responsible for the trafficking is more important than me fulfilling any destiny mapped. out for me. One I would have fulfilled if my world never ended.
I punch him repeatedly. Over and over. Taking out my rage. My years of pent up grief powering my fists as I rearrange his face. “Not so fun getting the shit beat out of you.
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while you are helpless is it? IF(punch) I (punch) EVER (punch) HEAR (punch) YOU (punch) SAY (punch) HER (punch) NAME (punch) AGAIN (punch) I WILL (punch) SLIT (punch) YOUR (punch) THROAT (punch)‘ He slumps over, and I can faintly hear his heart beating. He’s out cold. “I need a healer to the dungeons.” I mind–link while leaving. My busted knuckles are already healed, but I am covered in his blood. Guess I will be visiting again and again u til I get answers.
On my way back upstairs to shower, my phone dings in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see it’s a text from Ayla and what I read sends a shock through my system. I’m totally blindsided yet dumbfounded I never thought of this. Of course it is. I slump back against the elevator wall reading the text over and over. “That was my first kiss.”
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Chapter 33
Ayla
Watching my door close, I slowly slid to the floor holding my lips. Staring at the wall across my room, all I can feel is total shock. I just had my first kiss. Years of abuse, being kept in a cage showed me no intimacy. I have never felt the love of another, never had someone to call my own. I am trying to rack my brain around what it meant. He blamed it on his wolf. Did Ronan really push him that hard? Was it part of trying to pull my wolf out? Why me? Could I continue living here, putting him in danger after this. My thoughts were racing, and guilt flooded my mind. I stayed there for a while, resting my fingers on my lips. His lips were so soft, only a brief second I felt them, but it felt amazing. I decided that if I do end up leaving, I wanted Thane to know just how special of a gift he gave me. To me. I had a small moment where I felt wanted, normal. After 24 years, I experienced
the butterflies and the shock of intimacy and if I never see him again, I will carry it forever. I pull out my phone and send him a text. Short and sweet, to the point.
Me: That was my first kiss.
Sitting on the floor for what feels like hours, thinking, fretting, I decide it would be best to lay down and get some rest in the giant cloud called a bed. Laying here however, has done nothing to stop my overthinking. Could I be worthy of more? Would my mate want. me after everything I have been through. I hear a knock on the door, and before I overly panic, I hear Eric announce himself. Letting him in, we take a seat on the couch, and her sets his bag down on the table. “Ayla, it’s good to see you recovering. You look even better now that your shifter healing has kicked in. Alpha Thane tells me that your wolf tried to reconnect, and I would like to talk to you a little about that. If that is okay?” I nod my head “yes” in agreement and he proceeds. “I am sure you remember your first shift and how painful that was? I think that since your wolf has been withdrawn for ten years, that when she shifts, you will be in a great deal of pain. Alpha Thane can help talk your through the pain and shift easier. I will be on standby with sedatives if you can’t handle the pain. It would only be a small amount, and you could try again afterwards, but I would like that to be a last resort. We could also try sedating you a little to try and pull her out or maybe she would pull you in. I think if you make contact in your mind, that there would be a lot of catching up to do so to speak, or things to discuss between you two before she surfaces, but ultimately that would be left up to you. It would be a supervised sedation though. One of us would be there with you.” I nod in agreement taking in everything he is saying, mulling over questions and reservations in my head. “You could
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also try being around other shifters, in their wolf form. That may help her feel safer. I know that Alpha Thane, as an Alpha of Alphas is able to pull wolves and force shifts. He wouldn’t force you, but the option is there.” Alpha of Alphas? A title I have not heard but somehow seems to register familiarity with me.
“Also, we should discuss the potential difficulties your wolf faces being gone for so long. With only one shift, you never had the opportunity to form a bond with her. There is a high probability she could either be traumatized and scared like you or feral. With not contact and no bond, she could pose a safety risk to you and others around you.” My heart. starts racing, fear flashing in my features. “I know that sounds scary” Eric states and then reaches over and places his hand on mine. The touch isn’t unwelcome, but it doesn’t sit right with me like Thane’s does. “We wouldn’t do anything to your wolf Ayla. Our ultimate goal would be to keep her safe from herself and the others safe as well. There are things we can try if she does surface feral. Don’t be afraid.”
“One more thing, once your wolf surfaces, there will be a strong chance you could sense a mate and that would put you into heat. Omegas go into heat once they find their mates. The heats are longer, more intense, and more frequent. Other shifters go into heats a couple times a year, depending on the moon. I know with you past abuse that could be difficult for you. It is something to think about. We don’t like to suppress heats because it can be harmful to the body and is pretty taboo, but I think an exception could be made in your case. just give it some thought.” I nod my head “yes” as he stands to leave my rooms. “I will keep checking on with Thane, but I think you’ve made a full physical recover, which is the easy part. Goodbye Ayla.”
I shut the door behind him, taking in the information overload again. Is my mate here? Should I be leaving my rooms in search of my fated mate? Would there be rejection? Would I want rejected? If I get one more piece of information to mull over and fret about, I may break. I crawl into my bed and under my covers. I feel on the brink of tears, but there’s nothing. I don’t know how I can have all of these emotions and worries, but yet feel so numb inside. My phone beeps and I quickly look out from my cocoon to check my message, eager to see how Thane takes the revelation I put on him.
Thane: Thank you for telling me that. I feel horrible taking that from you.
Me: You may have taken it, but I am glad you did. I want you to know that I will carry that with me forever. No matter what.
Thane: Sounds like you’re telling me goodbye.
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Me: No, just informing. Just in case.
Thane: I wish I would have kissed you proper. A first kiss should be butterflies and passion. Fear and Euphoria all in one. Too much and not enough.
Me: It was perfect, and it will stay with me forever.
I need to keep my walls up. Trust isn’t something I can give out anymore, but he makes me want to. I don’t want to find my mate and be too damaged to reciprocate their love.
Too traumatized to handle his touches because I could have a panic attack at any moment. That wouldn’t be fair to a mate. I fall asleep wondering if I should have more. “firsts” before finding my mate.
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