Chapter 12
When I came to, I was in some abandoned building, staring down at the ropes around my wrists.[]
I looked across the room at Lily, who was sitting there with her chin in her hand, staring off into space.[]
“Lily… you fucking kidnapped me… “0
Lily snapped back to reality and turned to look at me. Her expression was complicated at first, then went eerily calm.]
“Willa, why do you think I’m always the one who ends up miserable?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Willa, River saved me too. He tried so hard for me, but… but why? Why couldn’t he just love me a little more?“]
Lily.”
“Willa, back then my parents wouldn’t let me go to school. River hiked over mountain roads, gave my parents money, and brought me back with him. Willa, I loved him.“[]
I stayed quiet, sighing. After a long pause, I looked at Lily.[]
“Lily, I grew up in foster care. You came out of poverty in the mountains. You know we’re the same–we both had no real family. In places like that, just surviving takes everything you’ve got. So yeah, I wanted someone to protect me too. I wanted to find a home, someone to face the future with so I wouldn’t be scared anymore.]]
“Lily, we were young then. I get why you liked him–I liked him too. But I’m almost thirty now, and you’re what, twenty–eight?
“Life’s short, and we’re already halfway through it. Why the fuck would you do something like this over some guy?
“Lily, I already made this mistake once. Wasted ten years of my life on it. Fine, I’ll take the L–I was an idiot who misjudged someone.
“But I’m literally a cautionary tale standing right in front of you. You’re not stupid, so why are you making the same mistake? Do you honestly think you can depend on a man for your entire life?”
“Willa, I’m not like you. I have nothing. If I don’t depend on him, what were these past ten years even for?”
“Just another shitty decade.“]
Lily froze, then after a long moment, she laughed.[]
She turned around, looking just like she did when I first met her.
Her eyes were bright: “Willa, I used to have dreams too.“]
“Like what?”
“I wanted to be an astronaut. Go to space, see what’s beyond this world. I didn’t want to be stuck down here with people. I hate this world that’s always picked on me. Willa, what was your dream?”
I had to think about it for a while. When it finally came to me, I laughed: “You know Mackenzie, right? She was always so badass, even as a kid. Senior year of high school, I made a wish that I’d grow up to follow Mackenzie around and live my best lazy life.“]
Opter 12
“That’s so basic. Our teachers always said we should dream big, that if we worked hard enough, we could change the world.“}]
“Living your best lazy life is pretty great though! At least you’re free and trying to live on your own terms, not like now where I can’t even protect myself…”
Lily went quiet for a long time, until the sun started setting. I stared longingly at the fading light.
When the light disappeared, she finally spoke: “Willa, it’s been so long since you talked to me this peacefully.”
“A long time ago, we used to talk about everything.“[]
I didn’t respond, just watched the distance as night fell and the whole city lit up.
The wind was strong, whipping Lily’s hair around.[]
Then I heard River calling her. She answered but immediately threw the phone off the building.
The phone fell from the high–rise and quickly went silent.]
She turned around and slowly came to sit next to me: “Willa, all these years it wasn’t really about money. I just wanted someone to hold me.
“I’ve been alone since I was little. One year, ten years, watching other people’s parents pick them up, watching them get swept into loving arms like they were precious treasures.]
“I used to think, what’s the point of being alive?”
I disagreed: “So not being alive would be better?”
She laughed: “But Willa, I’m so tired of living!
“Do you remember college? When they said I had bugs on me and threw my bedding in the bathroom? I was terrified. I horrowed someone’s phone to call River, and River called you. You came running over in a panic and brought me back to your dorm. You held me while I slept…
“Wila… I’ll untie you, but don’t leave, okay? Just hold me for a while?“[]
I stayed silent. When Lily didn’t get an answer, she spaced out for a bit.]
Then the ropes were untied and Lily fell asleep quickly, leaning against me. I tried to gently move her and leave.[]
But when I got to the stairwell, I suddenly looked back. Lily was curled up on the ground, her face pale but peaceful.[]
In that instant, something clicked and I froze.
A minute later I was running back like crazy: “Lily! Lily! Did you take something? Lily!“]]
