Chapter 13
scrubbing in, disinfecting, gowning up, gloves on||
The surgical drape was spread out, and Ellas picked up the scalpel Gone was his usual rock solid confidence–anxiety was written all over his face
The surgical lights revealed every shadow.
Thas had already positioned the blade against the surgical film, but he kept turning his head away.
His Adam’s apple bobbed, cold sweat nearly dripping onto the sterile field
“Dr. Shaw? Dr. Shaw?”
Some seemed to be calling him []
But everything on that operating table looked like demons to him now.
Elias couldn’t take it anymore. He threw down the scalpell and bolted from the OR
I followed behind him, watching his breakdman, witnessing the fall of a brilliant surgeon.
knew he might never operate again []
The hospital took this’s condition very seriously, sending people to investigate the cause. They finally determined it was psychological
When I hold a scalpel and stand at that table, all I can think about is that night when they were trying to save Elara.“]
Three times. I had three chances to save her. All she needed was a simple burr hole. I knew that–so why did I let her die?|| Eventually, I actually told them to stop trying! Even if the chances were next to nothing, she stit deserved a fighting chance!”
“Doctor, if she knew that she must hate me so much.”
Actually, I don’t hate you that much.
I sighed, but of course he couldn’t hear me
Everyone knew Elias was completely washed up
What kind of orthopedic surgeon can’t hold a scalpel?||
The hospital tried to get him to transfer to internal medicine for a fresh start.
He refused outright, insisting on staying to guard my skeleton.
People came to convince him in waves. Finally, Dr. Grant stepped in personally. “You already caused the death of one excellent neurosurgeon. Are you going to destroy another orthopedic surgeon top
“Unless you can prove your worth, why should the hospital keep you here?
Then had no answer. He gritted his teeth and tried countless times, but always failed.
He seemed forever trapped in that moment, completely hopeless and broken []
I’d uncle for
or the sharp focus in his eyes during surgery. Now all I saw was e
was endless socTOW
He was eventually transferred to research, because he’d accept any arrangement as long as he didn’t have to leave orthopedics[]
On the day he picked up a scalpel again for lab work, I seed to see past and future shadows overlapping.[]
Back to where all the englements began ||
Turnout wasn’t without resentment and obsession after all
Ite pemed to sense something and looked in my direction
“Elara, have you forgiven me
I started his features and tell only ke I was looking at a stranger |
I will never forgive you
Live with that guilt rating away at you, Elias Showe
rm leaving now
And I hope I never see you in heaven.
