77 Chapter 77 HEART-TO-HEART
77 Chapter 77 HEART-TO-HEART
I was out of Maya’s car before it even rolled to a stop.
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Daniel was the one bright light in my life. If that light had dimmed…
“In the meantime, can you do something for me?”
you, and you “I was going to call Kieran first, but Daniel has always had a softer spot for might have a better chance to get through to him…”
I leaned back into my seat, relief flooding through me, loosening the rest of the tension.
She said he still smiled, still did his lessons, and made polite conversation-but the light in my baby’s eyes had dimmed.
SERAPHINA’S POV
“Who are you to decide if I feel weird? You and Dad aren’t happy all the time. Grandma and grandpa aren’t happy all the time. Why do I have to be happy all the time?”
By the time we said goodbye, his voice was brighter. Not fixed, not magically healed-but lighter. And for now, I’d take that.
Screw Kieran’s reservations about the security risk of me going to the island.
He smiled wryly. “Depends. Is it a math problem?”
I could still hear the faint tremor underneath her usual poise.
Still, as I sank further into the couch and closed my eyes, my chest ached with the knowledge that my son’s smile had been carrying cracks I hadn’t seen.
When he finally spoke, his tone was sharp in a way I’d never heard from him before. And
his eyes…
I didn’t know how I was going to convince Kieran, but I knew that nothing could keep me from my baby.
Not in the aftermath of the fresh rogue attack. I would rather have my insides carved out than have a single slimy claw touch my baby.
77 Chapter 77 HEART-TO-HEART
That was it. The dam in my chest broke.
“Your dad and your grandparents and I… We all love you so very much. Every single decision we make is for your own good, even though it might not seem that way right now. I’m so sorry you’re hurting, sweetheart.”
I shook my head. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I just hate to see you
hurting.”
His eyes widened, and that spark flickered, like it was trying to come back to life. “You
mean it?”
“Let me know how it goes!” she called out after me.
There was a pause, then a soft, hopeful, “Okay.”
The silence that followed was not my son searching for the right words-it was the heavy, frozen kind that settles the moment you realize you’ve stepped on thin ice. That tugged a reluctant smile from me. He was joking around; he would be fine.
Just like that, my tension eased a notch. “Hey, sweetheart. How’s my favorite person in the whole world?”
Now, my fingers hovered over the call button, my heart beating wildly against my sternum. It was stupid, but part of me was…scared.
“So that’s why you called. Because Grandma said I’m acting weird?”
I smiled softly. “It means I’ll see you soon, my baby. And I’ll stuff you to the brim with all your favorite foods and smother you with hugs and kisses.”
My heart lurched. “Daniel-‘
Daniel’s breath audibly hitched. “What does that mean?”
Daniel answered on the second ring, his voice filled with his usual warmth.
We lingered on the line for a while after that, talking about all the things we would do when I came-he’d show me how to play the new video game I’d gotten for him, he’d show me the surfing moves he’d learned, we’d have ice cream on the beach, and go. sailing.
77 Chapter 77 HEART-TO-HEART
“I just…” he started, then stopped. When he spoke again, the fight in his voice had dulled, but the frustration still hummed underneath.
He beamed. “Good, now that he’s talking to his favorite person in the whole world.”
I’d spent the entire drive home with an invisible hand tightening around my throat.
“Hey, Mom!”
Especially knowing I was the cause.
“He used to be so open-hearted with us. Now I feel like he’s closed himself off. Maybe you could have a heart-to-heart? You’re his mother; he might tell you what he won’t tell me. My breath hitched as the sparkle winked out, like throwing a blanket over a firefly.
“No-“I began, but he was already rolling over me.
For a few seconds, I didn’t know what to say. My brain scrambled to pull up the right “mom” response, but every line felt thin, flimsy against the reality of what I’d just heard. “I can’t promise that you’re coming home soon,” I said, gripping the phone tighter.
Slowly, the sharp edges of the earlier strain softened.
And it wasn’t just his tone, not just his frustration-it was the sheer weight of his words. They weren’t careless; they’d been stewing inside him for a long time, looking for a way
out.
“You know what’s weird? How the adults in my life always decide how I’m feeling without asking me first. You and Grandma and Dad-you just decide. You decided to send me here without asking. Every time I say I want to come home, you promise me ‘soon, soon,’ but it’s already been months.” His voice rose, each word tightening like a vise around my heart.
Leona’s voice from earlier still rang in my head. I’d thought she’d called to join the tedious chorus of ‘Stay away from Kieran,’ but the topic of conversation had been much more devastating.
“I miss you, Mom. I miss waking up to the smell of your cooking. I miss your hugs and kisses. Your voice doesn’t sound the same over the phone. You always say my home is
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77 Chapter 77 HEART-TO-HEART
with you,
but you’re not here.” His voice cracked, and my heart cracked along with it.
“How am I supposed to be okay when I’m away from my home?”
“Yes, my love. I mean it. Just hold on for me a little longer, okay?”
The thought that my nine-year-old had been forced to grow up so much that he had so many complex emotions tore at my heart.
If Leona hadn’t said anything, I might have hung up thinking everything was fine. His eyes shone with their familiar sparkle; he sounded happy. He sounded like Daniel. Like my
baby.
But I couldn’t unhear her words, and that made me reckless.
For a while, we traded easy chatter-what he’d had for lunch (“Grandma made something with quinoa, which I’m pretty sure is a fancy kind of bird food, but it’s okay, because Grandpa snuck me a hot dog later”), how his lessons were going (“Science and English are fine, but I’m pretty sure my tutor has never seen a math equation in his life”), how his surfing lessons were going (“I rode a really high wave last week! I mean, I wiped out after thirty seconds, but it was so cool!”)
And then the part that hooked itself under my ribs:
Still, guilt gnawed at me. My son-my baby-had been carrying this weight while I’d been telling myself he was fine, that he was adapting. That he was safe.
I think I gave her an answer-I’m not sure. I was too distracted trying to get my encrypted phone out of my bag without tripping on the porch steps.
“Oh, baby.” My throat ached, my voice thick. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you felt like this. I should have asked earlier how you felt about it all. I should have made it easier for you to tell me these things. I hate that I made you feel like you had to hold it in.”
Apparently, Daniel had been “off” lately. Not sullen, exactly, but…different. Guarded. Like he’d put up a wall between himself and the rest of the household.
And the weight of my promise-to breach the distance between us, no matter what it took-settled over me like a vow I couldn’t afford to break.
“I’m so—” I had to stop, to gather myself so that when I spoke again, my voice didn’t
77 Chapter 77 HEART-TO-HEART
tremble. “I’m so sorry, my love. I realize that probably doesn’t make up for anything but…” I
sighed.
I pressed the button before I could talk myself out of it.
“I know you didn’t mean to,” he murmured.
But rogues weren’t the only thing capable of hurting him.
“You already have control over what happens to me. Where I live, who I live with, what I eat. It’s never about what I want. Must you control how I feel, too?”
So, without thinking, I said, “Leona mentioned you’ve been…quieter lately, more withdrawn. Is something going on?”
“No. Just…don’t shut me out, Danny. Even if you’re angry, even if you think I won’t get it. I’d rather hear it all than feel like you’re hiding pieces of yourself from me.”
It felt like the ice had broken underneath my feet, and I was drowning in freezing water. I’d never heard Daniel talk this way before.
“But I can promise that I’ll bring home to you,” I added, reaching a resolution.
His breathing on the other end slowed, and he closed his eyes. I let the tear I’d been keeping at bay slide down my cheek, and hastily wiped it away before he opened his eyes
again.
He nodded. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
