Seraphina.
I sit in the waiting room with my handbag on my lap, my knee bouncing up and down with nerves.
Please let everything be okay.
At first, I didn’t want to be pregnant, but now that I’ve got my head around it, having a healthy baby is all that I want. I’ve got this feeling that because I was so against this in the beginning that now I’m going to be punished. Maybe that’s just mom guilt starting early.
I didn’t tell Deb that my appointment was today, I wanted to come alone. She can’t be at every doctor’s visit and I’m sure this first one is just standard practice, and besides, I need to get used to doing things alone.
The doctor walks out of his office with a folder in his hand, he’s around forty–five, with salt–and–pepper hair, he has a kind–dad vibe. “Seraphina Locke?” He looks around and smiles when he sees me stand. “How are you today?”
“Good, thanks.” My heart is beating like a drum and I walk past him into the office and take a seat at his desk.
He sits down and opens the file and reads it. “Congratulations. You are…” he pauses as he reads on, “…twelve weeks and five days pregnant.”
I clutch my handbag with white–knuckle force. “Yes.” His eyes rise to meet mine. “A planned pregnancy?” “Yes,” I lie.
He keeps reading. “And what about the father, is he excited?”
“I was artificially inseminated.”
His eyes rise to meet mine. “At what clinic?”
“In New York at the Chelsea Fertility Clinic,” I reply without missing a beat. I’ve done my research and that’s all he should need to know; he has no legal reason to contact them.
“Fantastic.” He smiles. “This baby is a gift.” “Yes.” I force a smile, feeling guilty for lying.
“Okay,” he replies. “Let’s do an ultrasound, hop up onto the bed for me.” I lie down and pull my T–shirt up.
“This will be a little cold.” He squirts gel onto the end of the ultrasound wand and holds it over my stomach.
Silence.
He moves it around and pushes the wand deeper into my stomach.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Yes, just finding your baby. It’s hiding in here somewhere.” I hold my breath as he pushes and prods me.
Squelch, squelch, squelch…
“There we are, do you hear that?” He smiles. “A perfect heartbeat.”
The sound brings a big smile to my face. “I can hear it.”
11:51
ENDING THE LAST BETRAYAL LOOP: Faked My Death and Found REAL FREEDOM
19.4%
Chapter 28
1le frowns and then keeps prodding and poking. “Ilmtu, that’s interesting.”
“What is?”
“There are two heartbeats.”
“What?” My eyes widen. “What do you mean?”
“Do you have twins in your family?”
“No.”
“Well, you do now.”
My mouth falls open as the bed moves beneath me. “Twins?”
“Uh–huh.” He wipes my stomach with a tissue and cleans his wand, he takes my hand and helps me sit up. “Back in your chair.” I stare at him in a daze.
Twins.
Twins.
The word rolls around in my empty head and bounces off the sides.
“There are two babies?” I gasp.
#FF
“Uh–huh.” He smiles as he swivels his chair from side to side. “You hit the jackpot and got some good strong sperm.” Or not.
“Oh…” I begin to hear my heartbeat in my ears.
Two…there are two. I couldn’t deal with one, and now there are two.
Two, two…there are two babies.
“Seraphina?” the doctor says, interrupting my thoughts. “What do you say to that?”
“Huh?” My eyes rise to meet his. “I beg your pardon.”
“It’s going to be fine.” He smiles reassuringly. “Twins are a gift, and I know you will handle this like a pro. It’s completely normal to be apprehensive. But of course, depending on how they are in utero will
determine the birthing plan we make moving forward,”
I stare at him in horror, I have to push two babies out of my vagina.
It’s too small for one.
How the actual hell am I supposed to do two? I get a vision of me dying on the delivery table… Oh. My. God.
“How does that sound?”
I glance back up at him, having no idea what he just said. “Good,” I lie, there is nothing sounding good about this at all.
“Okay then, I’ll see you in four weeks.” He writes something down on a piece of paper and passes it over. “Take these vitamins and eat a varied diet. Try to have as broad a range of vegetables and fruit as you can and keep up the fluids.”
11:51
ENDING THE LAST BETRAYAL LOOP: Faked My Death and Found REAL FREEDOM
19.796
Chapter 28
I stare at him, mystified.
That’s it? He’s going to casually send me home carrying an entire fucking army in my stomach?
“Goodbye, Seraphina.”
“Goodbye.” On autopilot, I stumble out of the doctor’s surgery and wander to my car. I slump into my seat and stare out through the windscreen.
Too shocked to cry, too panicked to think and unable to speak.
Twins.
