Chapter 13
That night I carried Lily down on my back–six floors. I have no idea how she got me up there, but getting her down nearly
killed me.
I couldn’t stop. I ran with her toward the nearest street.[]
The moment police flashlights hit us, I finally stopped and screamed: “Call 911! She took pills! Help her!“[
They took Lily away while I collapsed there gasping. A cop helped me walk forward.[]
It wasn’t until much later that I looked up and saw two people running toward me.]
Mackenzie on the left, River on the right.]
Mackenzie didn’t say anything. River pleadingly called out: “Willa, Zoe is traumatized. She’s crying for you… please come home with me?”
I stared at River for a long, long time.
I realized I hadn’t really looked at him in years. Whatever magic I’d seen in him at first had been worn away by time.[]
I let out a long breath and explained to him seriously for the first time: “River, about the gas leak explosion–you asked where I was that day. I can finally answer you. I had low blood sugar and was rushed to the hospital. I was unconscious there for a day and night.
“I didn’t leave the gas on. I couldn’t come home because I was passed out in a hospital bed. None of that was my fault. You were working late that night and didn’t come home either, but somehow everything became my fault. Our whole relationship was a mess, but you cheating on me–that’s the one thing that was completely real.“[]
After Zoe was born, River’s mother developed Alzheimer’s.
I had no choice but to become a stay–at–home mom. We couldn’t afford help back then.
River was always busy, so it was just me taking care of two elderly people and two kids.
That morning I went grocery shopping, leaving Max with his grandparents.
Max was four–at that age where he gets into everything. He got curious and turned on the gas, which started leaking.
When they cooked dinner that night, there was an explosion.]
Grandpa died instantly. Grandma was holding Max and standing farther away.
During the explosion, Grandma instinctively shielded Max, He was fine, but she had severe burns over 86% of her body and developed infections.
She didn’t make it through the month.]
I wasn’t home all day. I didn’t get back until the next day, and River blamed me for not watching the kids properly.]
I didn’t argue. If someone had to take responsibility, it should be me.
Max was so little, suddenly losing both grandparents.[]
d rather have hum hate me than blame himself.]
After that, River kept asking where I’d been that day, why I didn’t come home. If I’d discovered it earlier, none of this would have happened.
I never told him. I was too exhausted to keep defending myself.[]
River and I started this cold war that went on forever. Much later, I found out he was cheating.[]
I barely reacted. I thought maybe that’s just what marriage was like.]
I was so tired. I didn’t want to deal with River anymore. If we could just maintain appearances, that was fine.[]
But even that became too much for him.]
Eventually he said he wanted a divorce. I refused–Max and Zoe were still so young.]
The stress had pushed me close to depression. I couldn’t understand how everything had gone so wrong.
But nobody understood me. Max hated me, River hated me.]
River pressured me. He wouldn’t listen to anything I said.
All I could do was throw things and lose my mind, like a bird trapped in a cage. I wanted to break free, but no matter how hard I tried, all I could see were people’s mocking faces.
Finally, River was willing to go to court just to divorce me. I was going to explain everything then, but River wouldn’t listen anymore. He just wanted the divorce. He couldn’t stand to look at me.[]
And now, it was time to end this.]
Why didn’t I come home that day? Because I’d been running on empty for days, had low blood sugar, and collapsed with Zoe outside the supermarket. I was unconscious in the hospital for a day and night.]
“Willa. you hate me, don’t you?“]
I looked at River and shook my head: “I used to, but now that I remember everything, I can’t even be bothered to hate you anymore. Those ten years feel like a long dream. Now that I’m awake, I realize my future is still long. I don’t need to care about you, and I don’t want to waste any more time.“[]
I turned and walked toward Mackenzie. She took my hand, and I immediately felt like crying.
“I haven’t eaten all day. I’m literally starving.“]
“Okay, okay. Let’s go home.“]
I didn’t look back. I didn’t care how River reacted to learning the truth. All I knew was that it was late and I needed to go home and sleep.
The road ahead is long–no need to look back with regret. The past should scatter with the wind.]
